As I mentioned in a previous post, I hate the question "what do you do?" It's boring, and narrowly places highly complex individuals into a flat caricature of an occupation. I write down (re: steal) good questions whenever I hear them and test them in different scenarios to see what happens. Here's three of my favorites, and what I like about them:
1. What one or two things are you most excited about right now?
This is my favorite of the "get to know you" questions. I purposely leave it open ended and give the option of having multiple answers. This way the respondent can answer from any corridor of their life: work, family, hobbies, or any combination. My favorite answer to this question came from a VP at my company, who shared that she and her husband were about to launch a new business that leveraged both of their particular career strengths. Her eyes lit up when she was telling me about it, and it was an area of her life I knew absolutely nothing about prior to asking the question.
2. What can I do or not do to help you right now?
Helping people is in my nature. I still have a report card from 4th grade, where the teacher wrote, "Jonathan always wants to help me or his friends. Sometimes he can be a little too helpful." This is a kind, 4th grade teacher way of saying sometimes I just need to shut my mouth and keep my opinion to myself. This question shows an eagerness to help, but is an admission (and a reminder) that there may not be anything for me to do other than listen. By adding the qualifier "or not do" it helps center the question on their needs instead of my desire to help.
3. What's one thing you've changed your mind about recently?
Humility is not just not bragging about how awesome you are. An often overlooked component is intellectual humility - the willingness to admit that you don't know something or that you might be wrong about it. To me it's a hugely admirable quality, and learning to practice it is crucial to progressing your thinking. The ability to answer this question (and the speed at which the respondent can answer it) is a telltale sign of introspection and self awareness. I use a variation of this question to avoid expending too much energy on zealots. I simply ask, "What would change your mind about <something they have a strong opinion about>?" If the answer is "nothing will change it," then that's a cue to disengage.
I have many more go-to questions that I'll share over time. Now that I've given you three of my favorite questions, what are some of yours?