It's now been 8 weeks of having my kids out of preschool and home with us 24/7. To keep tensions low I've aimed my efforts toward listening at times where I might previously have found myself telling. It's been amazing to give a more critical ear to what comes out of my 5 1/2 year old's mouth.
Few things frustrate me as much as being ignored. I don't expect 100% compliance, but we as parents are constantly trying to reinforce the importance of acknowledgement as the very foundation of social interaction. It's very difficult to start a conversation without it. In one particularly frustrating moment of repeating myself for the umpteenth time without a wince of acknowledgement, I got down on my 5 1/2 year old son's level, put my hands over whatever he was fiddling with, and looked him in the eyes and said, "WHAT are you doing and WHY are you not responding to me?"
He stared back and simply said, "what I was doing was more important." A flash of white hot rage was quickly replaced with a cool sense of awe. His defiant indifference in that moment exemplified two values that I hope form the bedrock of his character: bravery and honesty.
Frustrating stories like this are the kinds of parenting stories you hear about most, but sometimes my kids will stop me in my tracks for the opposite reason.
Yesterday, I was setting him up for an independent activity while his sister took her afternoon nap. He asked me, "Daddy, what are you going to do? Work on your computer?" I told him yes, and followed with a question of my own. "What do you think I do when I'm on my computer?"
His answer put stars in my eyes. "You find words." He captured it so simply and so elegantly. I find words, and it's a pleasure and a privilege to do so.